what you can't see...

... are the shapes and sizes of the demoralizing parts of my day.  what the pictures and sleek layout of the blog don't show are the grueling moments that make moving to a new place as hard as it is.  such as:

how, yesterday, sitting in gridlock traffic in Oakland, my dog puked in my passenger seat.

how, sitting through 8 hours a day of lecture courtesy of UC Berkeley is, for me, a heartbreaking calibration.

how, after paying 15 dollars for parking and 5 dollars bridge toll, i sat in my car for 2 hours to get home.

how, today the day-old dog puke smell re-appeared as i sat again in gridlock traffic on the way home.

how, no matter where you go, there will always be distance between you and the things you love.

yet:  the sanity I find here is the same as the sanity I would find anywhere--  in the peace of being outside, alone, with the promise of a rising moon, the unfurling of ferns, the steadiness of a redwood forest.  it's all within reach.