"Last night! Wow... So much going on today, lessons to learn. Felt horrible when I woke up, complicit in turning away 'Blueberry' from camp in the dark last night. Outburst at Polar Bear and Terese-- then I felt terrible about that, too. Found Blueberry a mile down, sleeping next the the PCT [this morning]. Apologized and then at least felt better about that. Next, made coffee on a sunny slope & waited for Terese and P.B. Apologized to T, then had a talk w/ P.B. about what happened and his responsibility. So much social drama/anxiety to be part of this experience. But life's lessons come in funny places I guess. It's hard to state what you need/want. Hard to ask. Goat Rocks is an amazingly spiritual, pure and cleansing place. Thought a lot about what is right for me and strongly feel that I should take the job at the ortho clinic. Thought about creatures in their environments. Goats here (so white and fuzzy and wild) are meant to be HERE. The PCT is crazy. So glad to have this gorgeous ridgetop to myself tonight. The last 3 miles today were brutal: Creepy-steep ridge walk with deadly drops on both sides. All of my fears of heights, vertigo, were activated. It was exhausting. Still--Good to conquer fear & get most of it behind me so tomorrow (last day!) isn't too hard. Legs are tired and muscles sore (tension/fear). I was hungry all day b/c of food rationing. I failed to purchase enough in Trout Lake. Luckily, Shepherd gave me a protein bar and a pack of Ramen and a pack of pasta so I can eat lunch tomorrow. Hope I'm not too cold tonight: camping at 6,500 feet with snow and glaciers all around. Really... spectacular."
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